Feeding the soul with friendship
This past year I have done 5 trips without my other gray nomad, but instead with dear friends. “Women’s friendships are like a renewable source of power” said Jane Fonda, and I find this to be true. Each of our friends brings something special to our lives and something that I truly cherish. We catch up, we chat, and with each friendship we bring some part of ourselves to the equation and refind parts of ourselves.
I started this year of travel in January when a dear friend asked me to go to St. Thomas - a place I used to live and left with the intention of returning in 6 months (it’s literally been 30 years so ya see how well that worked out!). I had never said goodbye properly to a land I loved. She was going for her own closure. It ended up being three of us traveling women. We stayed in a fabulous air b n b that had amazing sunsets, our own pool, and a crazy steep driveway! We went to Magens Bay (my first wedding was overlooking this on Petersburg Point), Mountaintop (which has drastically changed since I worked there as a waitress 30+ years ago), had some amazing and not so amazing dinners and spent time talking, connecting, drinking, reading cards, and finding the closure two of us needed. When I lived here I was a young married woman, I left pregnant with my first beautiful child with thoughts of coming back and building a future here in the Caribbean. When I divorced that man and I asked the tarot cards how I would get through this period of my life? I got the 3 of cups. This card is three women-embracing and celebrating with their glasses held high! Sharing and supporting in this way that we women do. This trip once again showed up as this energy in my life. Women supporting women in the journey of life.
Later in the year I headed to Florida, an area of this state I had not yet been to, with my oldest friend. She and I have traveled this lifetime for 36 years as friends. Blows my mind to think about that. We have shared children, been at each other’s weddings, and through divorces & deaths. I cannot imagine how I could have done it without her. We explored Venice and Palm island, hung out with her kids, played shuffle board, walked the beaches, ate croissants and sat for hours with our porch coffee-this to me is the best part of our trips, and really most trips. Those long talks that you don’t get a chance for in the work a day rhythm of life. She and I also ventured into PA for the lantern festival later in the year - which was amazing!
Towards the end of the year, I took a road trip to VA with a friend I have known for over a decade. She and I have maintained a deep and vitally important friendship even though we live states apart. I once read that long distance friendships are great cause you never have drama, every time you get together it’s a big event, and you can offer each other vacations at each other’s homes - getting to show off your home area! So true! But those catch ups are important, and bring us back to ourselves. Those long talks with your faraway friend can provide you new insight with fresh eyes (especially this friend who is super good at friend therapy), and can remind you who you are again. In this case, on this trip, my friend also reminded me of my Christmas spirit and I am grateful for that as well!
In thinking about this blog I googled why female friendships are so important. I had heard once that NOT having and nurturing these relationships is as bad for our health as over eating and smoking! And I did find that idea expressed again. Our friendships also help us deal with stress when we are together partially because when we’re happy, on a biological level, and with our girls, we release oxytocin-a feel good chemical, so it’s not just in our heads! It’s been shown that men live longer when married, women live statistically the same married or unmarried, but we live longest when we have strong bonds with out gal pals.
And I am very grateful for the women who have journeyed this life time with me.
